Proverbs 10:19 (Restraint)
"When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent" (Proverbs 10:19).
I don't think any man would disagree that our words can have a negative impact on others—just ask our wives! Yet I believe in the language of Scripture it is easy to gloss over fancy words such as "transgression" and "prudent."
If we slow down and define words more clearly though, we'll not only understand the wisdom of this proverb, but God-willing apply its truth to our lives more frequently.
According to Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary (which was originally written from a Biblical perspective), a "transgression" is defined as "the act of passing over or beyond any law or rule of moral duty; the violation of a moral law; breach of command."
Therefore in applying this definition to Proverb 10:19, when our words are many, the potential opportunity for our moral compass begins to sway away from blessing and more to cursing.
Conversely, "prudent" is defined by Webster as "cautious, practically wise, careful of the consequences," thus giving us the end in mind to calculate the impact of our words before they are spoken. I dare say that conflict resolution in marriage is a prime application in context of these definitions.
In the end, we must recognize our patterns of communication with others, and particularly in marriage. For me, I can easily fall into a trap of talking too much and not listening to understand others, especially my wife. I can be focused more on my defense or rebuttal than hearing the truth of an argument made against me.
In truth, pride is the driving force, but it cannot be an excuse that hinders me from making positive change. I must learn to tame my tongue, and as my mother preached repeatedly to me as a child, "Think before you speak!" Only then will I begin to build a new discipline of not only measuring my words, but ensuring they are morally and Biblically sound before they are spoken.
Marriage can be an incredible journey of faith, full of joy and infinite blessings. But for many of us, our marriages feel like a never-ending desert—dry and barren with little resources to live off of. Coupled with scorching heat during the day and bone-chilling cold at night, the desert is actually an ironic metaphor for the emotional and psychological extremes we long to escape from.
When we hear the words, “ABSENT FATHER,” we typically focus our attention on broken homes and fathers who literally have abandoned their kids. But what if a father is physically present in the home yet disengaged from his wife and children—emotionally, psychologically and spiritually? Would that not also constitute as being an ABSENT FATHER?
Some may argue that vaccinations and testing are necessary to not only protect oneself, but protect the safety of others. However, if I do not believe these vaccinations are safe or morally manufactured, is it unloving to refrain from participating? If testing is inaccurate or creates a false positive, who am I truly hurting by missing work and quarantining myself for no reason other than fear?
The problem is cheating promises an oasis of happiness but does absolutely nothing to quench a man’s thirst. Regrettably, many of us bear the scars of decisions which prove this to be true, yet many more will continue to justify their sinful actions in hopes of finding contentment in anything apart from God.
The entire family benefits when men take their responsibility seriously and welcome the Lord’s accountability to become more Godly husbands and fathers. Therefore, if you want to transform your family and inevitably meet your wife’s greatest NEED, prioritize SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP and her WANTS and DESIRES will likely be met in the process.
You can’t lead your family spiritually if you’re not living according to God’s Word personally, and you’ll never meet your wife’s emotional needs if you’re not humbled by the conviction of the Holy Spirit at work in your heart. Success begins and ends with surrender to God’s will, obedience to God’s Word, and submission to God’s authority in your heart, first and foremost, so you can minister to your wife.
[TRUTH HURTS!] WHY ARE MEN GREAT ‘TIL THEY GOTTA BE GREAT?
Men, listen up. If you ever wondered what women may be thinking, now you know! Today, countless women are becoming increasingly frustrated and disappointed with their husbands, fiancés and boyfriends, and it’s not surprising why. Because if we stop for a second, look in the mirror, and honestly own our mistakes, we’d likely agree their complaints are justified. The problem is we think more highly of ourselves than we ought and set the personal morality bar far too low, rather than disciplining and determining our minds to achieve greatness.
Perhaps the greatest sacrifice we make on a daily basis is our time. Whether you are graced with resources, gifts or talents, time supersedes them all because it is something every human has in their possession. You can waste your time or use it wisely. The choice is yours.
Spiritual warfare is real. Anyone who has ever felt the pull of temptation can attest to it, yet how often are we fully aware of all that is going on around us in the spiritual realm? Can we see it? Hear it? Feel it? Taste it?
Expectations. Entitlement. These are words that should invoke great fear and trembling within the heart of a Christian. The concepts are pervasive throughout our culture yet in the church we are universally susceptible to failure in these areas. The simple truth, though, is that while God does NOT need us, we DO need him and are thus indebted to Christ for the honor and privilege of serving Him.
When we embrace the truth that we go no place by accident, we understand that seasons of life are inevitable, but the beauty of the Gospel gives clarity and direction to how we embrace each season.
What is the difference between faith and trust? Why does it matter? What wisdom are we to gain from knowing the difference? Simply stated, faith is believing while trust solidifies belief over time. Faith begins the process while trust grows and strengthens in response to faith.
You are never too young to be used by God. That was the instruction the apostle Paul gave to his #1 gun, Timothy, as he was charged to lead the church in Ephesus, and that is the reminder we all need regarding how we minister and how we allow others to minister to us.
There is something deep within the human psyche that demands justice be served when wrongs are committed. When we have been hurt, insulted, violated, mocked, injured, falsely accused, persecuted, etc., we typically turn inward and focus on the impact suffering has upon us, first and foremost.
Words are important. Words convey a message. Words reveal what we believe. In many cases, words have incredible power when used to tear down or build up others. Our ability to receive salvation is made possible through spoken words.
Love of self simply results in a slow and agonizing death that leaves one numb over time to the convicting presence of the Holy Spirit. Left untreated, this wilderness attitude can drive us further into self-righteousness and inevitably, spiritual death.
Imagine the possibilities that would flourish in our lives if we chose to filter our minds through the spiritual colander of humility, washing away all unrighteousness and iniquity that enslaves us and leaving behind only the God honoring qualities that produce the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22).
People come together, strange as neighbors, our blood is one—children of generations, of every nation, of kingdom come. Don’t let your heart be troubled. Hold your head up high. Don’t fear no evil. Fix your eyes upon this one truth: God is madly in love with you. Take courage. Hold on. Be strong. Remember where our help comes from.
There’s a grace when the heart is under fire; another way when the walls are closing in. And when I look at the space between where I used to be and this reckoning, I know I will never be alone. There was another in the fire standing next to me. There was another in the waters holding back the seas. And should I ever need reminding of how I’ve been set free, there is a cross that bears the burden where another died for me. There is another in the fire.
I’ve been strong and I’ve been broken within a moment. I’ve been faithful and I’ve been reckless at every bend. I’ve held everything together and watched it shatter. I’ve stood tall and I have crumbled in the same breath. I have wrestled and I have trembled toward surrender. Chased my heart adrift and drifted home again. Plundered blessing till I’ve been desperate to find redemption, and every time I turn around, Lord, You’re still there.
Precious blood has left me forgiven, pure like the whitest of snow, powerful to make sin and shame retreat. This covenant is making me whole. So I will rise and lift my head, for by His mercy my life was spared. The highest Name has set me free, because of Jesus my heart is clean. Purify my heart in Your presence. Teach me to discover the joy of holiness that forms as You draw me close. In You, what was lost is restored.
Take this fainted heart. Take these tainted hands. Wash me in your love. Come like grace again. Take this mountain weight. Take these ocean tears. Hold me through the trial. Come like hope again.
Opportunities will undoubtedly arise in our marriages to flee when conflict abounds and temptations to justify sin seem rational. But to those who persevere in the face of danger, infinite blessing awaits. The question is whether we will embrace the lot we have been given or turn away from the refiner's fire that purifies our hearts and allows us to love our spouses as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up unto death for His bride.
In our present culture, love is the overwhelming alternative to God's character that most people cling to when it comes to eternity. No one wants to accept that God would ever sentence anyone to never-ending torment in hell because that it seems unloving. However, the Bible is clear that God is just and will judge mankind when we pass from this earth according to the decisions we make, especially as it relates to our relationship (or lack thereof) with Him.